Plot Bunny Dump
by InsaneUnicornCupcake
Summary: A collection of random thoughts. They relate to everything and nothing. They may be strange. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
1. Chapter 1

I'm sorry this is just a random dump site for my thoughts and various plot bunnies. Sorry.

Pedestrian at Best - Courtney Barnett

I love you, I hate you, I'm on the fence, it all depends  
Whether I'm up or down, I'm on the mend, transcending all reality  
I like you, despise you, admire you  
What are we gonna do when everything all falls through?  
I must confess, I've made a mess of what should be a small success  
But I digress, at least I've tried my very best, I guess  
This, that, the other, why even bother?  
It won't be with me on my deathbed, but I'll still be in your head

Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you  
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you  
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey  
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny

My internal monologue is saturated analog  
It's scratched and drifting, I've become attached to the idea  
It's all a shifting dream, bittersweet philosophy  
I've got no idea how I even got here  
I'm resentful, I'm having an existential time crisis  
Want bliss, daylight savings won't fix this mess  
Under-worked and over-sexed, I must express my disinterest  
The rats are back inside my head, what would Freud have said?

Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you  
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you  
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey  
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny

I wanna wash out my head with turpentine, cyanide  
I dislike this internal diatribe when I try to catch your eye

I hate seeing you crying in the kitchen  
I don't know why it affects me like this  
When you're not even mine to consider  
Erroneous, harmonious, I'm hardly sanctimonious  
Dirty clothes, I suppose we all outgrow ourselves  
I'm a fake, I'm a phoney, I'm awake, I'm alone  
I'm homely, I'm a Scorpio

Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you  
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you  
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey  
I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very fun

Put me on a pedestal and I'll only disappoint you  
Tell me I'm exceptional, I promise to exploit you  
Give me all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey

I think you're a joke, but I don't find you very funny

 **Gee, Officer Krupke (Movie)**

 **ACTION**

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,

You gotta understand,

It's just our bringin' up-ke

That gets us out of hand.

Our mothers all are junkies,

Our fathers all are drunks.

Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!

 **ACTION AND JETS**

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset;

We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.

We ain't no delinquents,

We're misunderstood.

Deep down inside us there is good!

 **ACTION**

There is good!

 **ALL**

There is good, there is good,

There is untapped good!

Like inside, the worst of us is good!

 **SNOWBOY** : (Spoken) That's a touchin' good story.

 **ACTION** : (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world!

 **SNOWBOY** : Just tell it to the judge.

 **ACTION**

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,

My parents treat me rough.

With all their marijuana,

They won't give me a puff.

They didn't wanna have me,

But somehow I was had.

Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad!

 **DIESEL: (As Judge)** Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square;

This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care!

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.

He's psychologic'ly disturbed!

 **ACTION**

I'm disturbed!

 **JETS**

We're disturbed, we're disturbed,

We're the most disturbed,

Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed.

 **DIESEL: (Spoken, as Judge)** In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.

 **ACTION: (Spoken)** Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

 **DIESEL** : So take him to a headshrinker.

 **ACTION (Sings)**

My father is a bastard,

My ma's an S.O.B.

My grandpa's always plastered,

My grandma pushes tea.

My sister wears a mustache,

My brother wears a dress.

Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

 **A-RAB: (As Psychiatrist)** Yes!

Officer Krupke, you're really a slob.

This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job.

Society's played him a terrible trick,

And sociologic'ly he's sick!

 **ACTION**

I am sick!

 **ALL**

We are sick, we are sick,

We are sick, sick, sick,

Like we're sociologically sick!

 **A-RAB:** In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

 **ACTION:** Hey, I got a social disease!

 **A-RAB:** So take him to a social worker!

 **ACTION**

Dear kindly social worker,

They say go earn a buck.

Like be a soda jerker,

Which means like be a schumck.

It's not I'm anti-social,

I'm only anti-work.

Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!

 **BABY JOHN: (As Female Social Worker)**

Eek!

Officer Krupke, you've done it again.

This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen.

It ain't just a question of misunderstood;

Deep down inside him, he's no good!

 **ACTION**

I'm no good!

 **ALL**

We're no good, we're no good!

We're no earthly good,

Like the best of us is no damn good!

 **DIESEL (As Judge)**

The trouble is he's crazy.

 **A-RAB (As Psychiatrist)**

The trouble is he drinks.

 **BABY JOHN (As Female Social Worker)**

The trouble is he's lazy.

 **DIESEL**

The trouble is he stinks.

 **A-RAB**

The trouble is he's growing.

 **BABY JOHN**

The trouble is he's grown.

 **ALL**

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke,

We're down on our knees,

'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.

Gee, Officer Krupke,

What are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke,

Krup you!

 **Gee, Officer Krupke (Stage)**

 **TIGER (spoken)**

 **(imitating Officer Krupke)**

Hey, you!

 **RIFF (spoken)**

Me, Officer Krupke?

 **TIGER (spoken)**

 **(as Krupke)**

Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason

For not draggin' ya down to the

Stationhouse, ya punk.

 **RIFF (sings)**

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,

Ya gotta understand-

It's just our bringin' upke

That gets us outta hand.

Our mothers all are junkies,

Our fathers all are drunks.

Golly Moses - natcherly we're punks.

 **ALL**

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset;

We never had the love that every

Child oughta get.

We ain't no delinquents,

We're misunderstood.

Deep down inside us there is good!

 **RIFF**

There is good!

 **ALL**

There is good, there is good,

There is untapped good.

Like inside, the worse of us is good.

 **TIGER (imitating Krupke)**

That's a touchin' good story.

 **RIFF**

Lemme tell it to the world!

 **TIGER (imitating Krupke)**

Just tell it to the Judge.

 **RIFF (**to Snowboy)**

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,

My parents treat me rough.

With all their marijuana,

They won't give me a puff.

They didn't wanna have me,

But somehow I was had.

Leapin' lizards -that's what I'm so bad!

 **SNOWBOY (imitating a Judge)**

Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square;

This boy don't need a judge, he

Needs a analysis's care!

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed-

**He's psychologically disturbed.

 **RIFF**

I'm disturbed!

 **ALL**

We're disturbed, we're disturbed,

We're the most disturbed,

Like we're psychologically disturbed.

 **SNOWBOY (still acting part of Judge)(spoken)**

Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion

Of this court, this child is

Depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.

 **RIFF (spoken)**

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

 **SNOWBOY (as judge - spoken)**

So take him to a headshrinker.

 **RIFF (to Action)(sings)**

My Daddy beats my Mommy,

My Mommy clobbers me,

My Grandpa is a Commie,

My Grandma pushes tea.

My sister wears a mustache,

My brother wears a dress.

Goodness Gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

 **ACTION (as psychiatrist)**

Yes!

Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here.

This boy don't need a couch, he needs

A useful career.

Society's played him a terrible trick,

And sociologically he's sick!

 **RIFF**

I am sick!

 **ALL**

We are sick, we are sick,

We are sick sick sick

Like we're sociologically sick!

 **ACTION (speaks as psychiatrist)**

In my opinion, this child does not need

To have his head shrunk at all.

Juvenile delinquency is purely a

Social disease.

 **RIFF (spoken)**

Hey, I got a social disease!

 **ACTION (spoken as psychiatrist)**

So take him to a social worker!

 **RIFF (to ARAB)(sings)**

Dear kindly social worker,

They tell me get a job,

Like be a soda-jerker,

Which means like be a slob.

It's not I'm anti-social,

I'm only anti-work.

Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk!

 **ARAB (as social worker)**

Eek!

Officer Krupke, you've done it again.

This boy don't need a job, he needs a

Year in the pen.

It ain't just a question of misunderstood;

Deep down inside him, he's no good!

 **RIFF**

I'm no good!

 **ALL**

We're no good, we're no good,

We're no earthly good,

Like the best of us is no damn good!

 **SNOWBOY**

The trouble is he's lazy.

 **JOYBOY**

The trouble is he drinks

 **BABY JOHN**

The trouble is he's crazy.

 **ARAB**

The trouble is he stinks,

 **MOUTHPIECE**

The trouble is he's growing.

 **ACTION**

The trouble is he's grown!

 **ALL**

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke,

We're down on our knees.

'Cause no one wants a fella with

A social disease.

Gee, Officer Krupke,

What are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke -

Krup you!

Character Names

Good

Protagonist or side characters

Male

Alden

Alder

Blaze

Calder

Callum

Cassius

Cole

Chase

Etan

Jace

James

Jason

Jaymi

Kyle

Kile

Matt

Nathan

Ramon

Reed

Remus

Sammy

Tanner

Teddy

Theo

Theodore

Zayden

Female

Amber

Anna

Anne

Cassandra

Cleo

Ella

Emma Lee

Harper

Jade

Liza

Lizbeth

Lyra

Mayris

Sammi

Sara

Skye

Skylar

Tasha

Winter

Evil

Antagonist or side characters

Male

Brad

Dave

Ethan

Gale

Kevin

Mitchell

Nate

Oliver

Russell

Female

Blaire

Carri

Dale

Gale

Julia

Kailey

Nikki

Scarlett

Which Military Division From "Attack On Titan" Are You In?

1\. You got: Survey Corps  
Congratulations! You're in the Survey Corps! The military branch with the most titan combat, titan study, titan contact, and outside exploration with even more titans. You will be among the best soldiers and eventually, if you don't die, even you will become more advanced in your titan-fighting skills just like them. It is your overall duty to explore the world beyond the walls and to eventually reclaim human territory at last. Just don't get eaten, and especially don't regret the choice you made when you joined this division.

2.  
Who Would You Be In Medieval Times?

1\. You got: Monk  
You're a smart and thoughtful thinker who likes to contemplate life's deeper issues. You can be found in the abbey, where you like to study and devote yourself to helping the less fortunate.

2.  
What's Your Rich Bitch Name?

1\. You got: Asher III  
Your name means "happy" and "blessed" in Hebrew, and as the third, you often go by the nickname "Tripp." You're the most prized member of your family.

2.  
Which White-Haired Anime Boy Are You?

1\. You got: Near  
You're very intelligent. The abilities you possess are unique and great, and you can almost achieve anything you seek out to do. But at the same time this can be your downfall. Though you are a very smart person, you have a hard time connecting with other people personally. Even when the others around you clearly admire your unique traits, you find it difficult to give feedback. But when it comes to tough obstacles, you always persevere, no matter what. Just remember that you are more than capable of doing anything, and that's why you'll always be the one everyone looks up to.

 **Uptown Funk: A Comprehensive Analysis**

 **This hit, that ice cold**  
 **Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold**

Bruno Mars kicks off "Uptown Funk" with a reference to a religious movement growing rapidly in the music industry: Pfeifferism. For those who aren't in the know, Pfeiffer is a religious practice that entails worshipping the Almighty White Fox, Michelle Pfeiffer – star of such Hollywood hits as _Batman Returns_ , _Scarface_ , and _Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen_. While it is unclear how this movement started, many point to Pfeiffer's "Most Desirable Female" MTV Movie Award nomination as the true beginning of the Pfeifferism movement.

 **This one for them hood girls**  
 **Them good girls straight masterpieces**  
 **Stylin', wilin', livin' it up in the city**

This song is for pretty girls, BUT NOT JUST ANY PRETTY GIRL. This song is for the pretty girl who isn't super rich, but is normally nice. Bruno Mars is talking directly to that one beautiful fan who has that brownish hair that sometimes looks blonde but could also be red or black. She's got…eyes…and, you know, other stuff. Don't worry girl – this song is for you.

 **Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent**  
 **Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty**

Sorry ladies, as amazing as you may be (just the way you are), Bruno Mars is really just interested in kissing himself. Bruno Mars, a self-professed selfosexual (Don't worry, it's a word), often finds himself just making out with his reflection for hours. Alex Rodriguez shares a similar affliction.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Call the police and a fireman**

Bruno Mars honestly needs help. He's burning up.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Make a dragon wanna retire man**

Bruno Mars is a huge _Ender's Game_ fan – but he isn't a fan of the protagonist's fighting force, the Dragon Army. In these lines, Mars is issuing a challenge to the titular Ender and his Dragon Army, letting them know that if they happen to challenge him in the real, literature, or theatrical world, he will vanquish them and turn them back into the pathetic army they were before the arrival of Ender.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Say my name you know who I am**

A classic selfosexual desire, Mars gets off on merely hearing about his own existence. In asking people to say his name, he is begging the audience to remind him that he is real so he can fantasize about the existence of himself.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down**

Listen, girl: Bruno Mars is just mentioning money because it's the industry and stuff and he has to say those kind of things. Even though he's a selfosexual, he loves you more than anything in the world. Except himself.

 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**  
 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**  
 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**

Bruno Mars needs this. This is his fuel for life. SING HALLELUJAH, DAMNIT.

 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**  
 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**  
 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**

Are you ready for it? No, you can't ask what "it" is. "It" is what Uptown Funk is going to give to you. It's happening. Just accept "it" with open arms. Uptown Funk has your best interest in mind, and will certainly get your affirmative consent before giving you "it," so this "it" isn't the "it" you're thinking it is.

 **Saturday night and we in the spot**  
 **Don't believe me just watch (come on)**

Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson, and the whole band are there. RIGHT THERE. If you don't believe that, you better use your eyes and watch. Yes, Bruno Mars discriminates against women without eyes. Kind of fucked up, right?

 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Hey, hey, hey, oh**

Are you watching? If you don't believe him, you better be watching. This isn't one of those things where Bruno Mars expects you to believe in him without proof. That's reserved for things like Pfeifferism. If you don't believe Bruno Mars is there, fucking watch. He'll show you.

 **Stop, wait a minute**  
 **Fill my cup, put some liquor in it**

Bruno Mars' body is heating up even more from all of that intense eye contact you're delivering. He needs to cool down. Someone get him some alcohol NOW.

 **Take a sip, sign a check**

The one bad thing about Bruno Mars is that he has notoriously bad bar etiquette. Even at places that demand cash only, he leaves checks. Bruno Mars once paid for two PBR's with a cashier's check. True story. _(NOTE: National Ave's Legal Department has informed me I must state this isn't a "proven" story.)_

 **Julio, get the stretch**  
 **Ride to Harlem, Hollywood**  
 **Jackson, Mississippi**

Bruno Mars' takes a stretch limo to all of his shows and vacations. It's incredibly inconvenient. His driver, Julio, has insisted that he get over his fear of flying, but Mars refuses to go anywhere not in a limo. This has made touring a real problem, especially since Mars' spends half of his trips just fancy walking in front of the limo like a modern day funky Forrest Gump.

 **If we show up, we gon' show out**  
 **Smoother than a fresh jar o' skippy**

Bruno Mars, Mark Ronson, and his entire band rolled around in peanut butter for 48 hours before shooting the video for "Uptown Funk." Rumor has it that they still haven't been able to wash the smell off, and at least one of them tastes like peanut butter.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Call the police and a fireman**

This is getting dangerous now. I honestly thought the whole thing might be a joke at first, but maybe someone should call for help. Like, I don't want to be the guy who ruins the party by having the cops show up, but this could be serious.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Make a dragon wanna retire man**

Even as his body nears spontaneous combustion, Mars wants the world to know his threats to Ender and his Dragon Army are real. Fire or no fire, Mars will not play around with the Dragon Army.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Bitch say my name you know who I am**

Okay ladies. He's serious now. Bruno Mars is not one to through around the word "bitch" lightly, as he understands its demeaning implications – but it sounds like saying his name might help this whole "body on fire" situation. Just do what he says.

 **I'm too hot (hot damn)**  
 **Am I bad 'bout that money**  
 **Break it down**

Forget about the money. It sounds like Bruno is about to break down how to save him from being "too hot." Please listen closely.

 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**  
 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**  
 **Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)**

DO IT. HIT YOUR DAMN HALLELUJAH. IT MAY BE THE ONLY THING THAT COULD SAVE HIS LIFE. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU.

 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**  
 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**  
 **'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you**

God, I really wish we know what "it" is. Maybe then we could understand this problem. Oh well, we're going to get "it" no matter what, so it doesn't matter what "it" is because "it" is coming.

 **Saturday night and we in the spot**  
 **Don't believe me just watch (come on)**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Hey, hey, hey, oh**

Watch him closely. This sounds like more than some selfosexual rant. He's preparing us for something. Just watch.

 **Before we leave**  
 **Lemmi tell y'all a lil' something**

OH GOD. He knows he's going to die. This is it, isn't it? The end of Bruno Mars. Listen to the man; these are his final words.

 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up uh**  
 **I said uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**

Are you fucking kidding me?! Is this what you're going to leave us with? You tell women they're amazing just the way they are, and that you'd catch a grenade for them, BUT YOUR FINAL WORDS ARE SOME LAME PUN ABOUT SEX AND FUNK? Is that what "it" is? It is, isn't "it?" THIS WAS ALL SOME DUMB SEX THING. DAMNIT.

 **Come on, dance, jump on it**  
 **If you sexy then flaunt it**  
 **If you freaky then own it**  
 **Don't brag about it, come show me**  
 **Come on, dance**  
 **Jump on it**  
 **If you sexy then flaunt it**

Jump on what, huh? Your penis? Is that what this has been about? You're not even dying are you? Screw you and screw "it."

 **Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot**  
 **Don't believe me just watch come on!**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch uh**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Don't believe me just watch**  
 **Hey, hey, hey, oh**

I'm done watching. This is over. I bet this has all been one big ploy to get people to fall in love with you through vague descriptions of girls who could really be anyone. And now you just want to be the cool funk guy, right? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME…To us. I'm watching…but I don't see the real you anymore.

 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up (say what?)**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up (say what?)**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up (say what?)**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up**  
 **Uptown funk you up (say what?)**  
 **Uptown funk you up**

Goodbye Bruno.

 **"Bread is dangerous!"**

 ** _Researchers find that more than 97% of convicted criminals are bread users!_**

 **Science and Technology** **| Written by makarona Tue. 10/20/2009**

The _Good Food for Every Egyptian Center_ has recently unveiled disturbing study results that paint a dire picture of bread. The baked mix of flour and water has been found to be consumed by more than 97% of convicted criminals, with more than 90% of crimes committed within 24 hours of consuming it.

Lead researcher Haseb Khayeb stated "that bread is now being found to cause many of the problems we see in modern society today. Indeed, we have found that _half_ of all children growing up in bread consuming households, remarkably, score below average on standardized tests."

Bread is made from a hazardous substance known as "dough." It is now known that as little as 450 grams of it can suffocate a mouse – humans currently consume significantly more per month.

The study has also noted that bread requires a temperature as high as 240 degrees Celsius in order to bake. Adults are now known to quickly die at such temperatures.

Crucially, primitive tribal societies without bread have been found to suffer from lower rates of cancer, osteoporosis, and Alzheimer's. However, it is yet unknown whether this is directly due to the lack of bread in their diet, or because members of such societies tend to be consumed by tigers and other fauna before old age.

Perhaps most disturbingly, however, the study has revealed that bread can often act as a "gateway" foodstuff, leading consumers to harder items, including jam, cheese, and in some cases, meat. And, to top it off, Dr. Khayeb added, "Bread is addictive. During trails we conducted here at our labs, we found that humans deprived of food and only given water started _begging_ for bread in as little as two days. Let me be clear, bread is dangerous!"

A more positive note, however, is that local authorities have begun taking action against the threat of bread. While subsidies on the staple food have by large protected it from inflation, the offset of this is that the days when this perilous commodity came in the size of old music records are now over, and it now comes in the more benign size of mini-discs.

The change in size has not gone unnoticed by the addicted masses, however, and as one Dokki resident battling a lifelong addiction to the substance told _El Koshary Today_ : "At least these smaller proportions will encourage the poor to quit this horrible addiction and eat other, more affordable, and healthier food items."

EKT would like to take the initiative by asking all its readers to demand that the selling of bread to minors be made promptly illegal, and designate bread-free zones around the city.

Perhaps it's time to place this menace outside the realm of our diets, and reclaim the health and intelligence of our former tribal days.

Chapter 1

He checked his phone. This couldn't be the place. The GPS must be wrong. He was standing in front of an abandoned lot in really bad part of town. She couldn't live here. The lot was empty with the exception of a half destroyed, graffitied car park. The ground was strewn with rubble and rusted steel bars. In other words, it was a

Chapter 01

I felt a small tingle race up the skin of my palm. I smiled to myself, maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. I tuned out Ms. Fenwood's extraordinarily boring lecture and casually rested the side of my face in my hand. I focused on the recorded message playing through my skin, "at 17:00 hours exactly report to Researcher Nick Kink at the bookstore pick up depot." As soon as I heard the news I had to resist the urge to whoop and shout. Nick Kink was only second to the Head Researcher, Ryan Fern, in authority. Yes! I thought, I'm getting a promotion! I was so happy. Being a fourteen-year-old genius, even in a place where you've proven yourself again and again, makes it hard to get people to take you seriously. At first they're always mad that a teenager is smarter than them. Then, when I prove that I am smarter than them, they act all high and mighty and like they know better because they have more life experience. Also, it doesn't help that, even though I could be in my second year of pre-med, I choose to be in grade eight. The main reason I hold back so much is because I probably would be sucked into the government and constantly be watched as a possible threat. Plus, if the government used me I would probably kill dozens of people before breakfast and be hailed as a hero for it. I don't want that. I also don't want to have my brain scanned multiple times by curious scientists to see how it works. So, yeah I'm happy in grade eight. I discreetly peeked inside my laptop case to check that my access cards were still there. At the end of school I sent my mom a casual text saying l was going over to a friend's house, just incase she realizes that l exist. My parents aren't really concerned with what l did so long as I showed up before my brother. My brother skipped two grades in elementary school and my parents have poured all their attention into him. Thoughts of my brother leave the bitter tinge of resentment in my mouth as l board the bus. l don't resent my brother though, he always has time for me, no matter what and he was always kind. My parents are who my resentment is directed at. I stepped off the bus and walked a couple of blocks west to an unremarkable bookstore on the corner. The store had a CLOSED sign on the window, I ignored it, it was always there. l dug a key ring out of my pocket and unlocked the door. As l stepped in l checked my phone, 4:30, l had some time to kill. I locked the door behind me and over walked over to the cluster of chairs at the back of the store. l flopped down onto one, pulled out my book and started to read. After a while l felt a breeze as the wall slid away behind me. I looked at my phone, 5:00, "you're right on time," l said. "Researcher Herondale we need you to supervise the experimental part of project 3799-2.054

Prologue

 _The killer unsheathed his knife. This was his first kill in a long time. He had made many kills before, nobody had ever caught him. He never made mistakes. Until his last kill. The victim hadn't died. The victim had been able to describe him. There would be no mistakes this time. He would do this perfectly, for his beautiful son. First, the parents. The killer watched the blood from their slitted throats spill onto the mattress. Beautiful. Next, the boy. No screams to alert anyone. Perfect. Now, the girl. The one he had really come for. The killer entered the room and found the bed empty, the sheets rumpled. Where was the girl?_

Chapter 1

The detective looked down at me.

"We had your friend in here. He wouldn't say anything except that you would tell us what we needed to know."

 _If that was meant to make me spill out my entire life story then he must be a very bad detective_ I thought. The detective must have seen my expression because he said,

"Let's start with easy questions."

"Fine," I replied.

"Hmm. Let's see," the man mused flipping through a clipboard,

"Okay, one, your name is Amanda Malawian. Correct?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Your parents were Jenny and Nail Malawian and your brother was Sean Malawian. Correct?"

"Yes, they were" I struggled to keep my voice level.

"You were enrolled in Hawthorne Public School. Correct?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered. The rest of the interrogation went the same way with him stating a fact and asking me if he was correct and me replying "yes." It was all a trick to lull me into a false sense of security. All that just to make me say yes to the last question. The last question was "will you tell me your story?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Do you think I don't know basic interrogation tactics?" I demanded.

"Umm, I was kind of hoping so" the detective said. I rolled my eyes, snorted and set my mind to the task of deciding whether to answer his question or not. _Well_ I thought _if what he said is true, then Aden doesn't want them to know anything. But then why did he direct this idiot to_ me _?_

Then I understood. Aden didn't want this guy to know anything about _him_. I considered what I knew about Aden and made a mental list: his name, his father's name, Ethan, his father abandoned him when their ship was somehow compromised with all the food, Aden was an only child with no mother. Any one of those could give him away. I had decided on a plan. I would lie, I wouldn't tell the detective anything about Aden.

"Fine," I said, "I'll tell you my story."

The detective smiled thinking he had won the argument.

"But," I continued, the detective's smile faded,

"You have to tell me your name." The detective's smile returned and he said,

"My name is Evan Berkes. Now you can tell me your story."

Chapter 2

"It started at school," I began,

"With the school bully. There were many rumours about him. Like the one that his dad was on parole for attempted murder; he used them all to his advantage.

 **Chapter 1**

Eli kept glancing up at the clock. It seemed to be deliberately slowing time down. He just wanted to go home. _Not your_ real _home,_ a part of his brain whispered. _Your_ real _home would have your_ real _parent in it, but your mom is probably in some mental institute_. Eli tried to push the thought away, it was too painful. His brain wouldn't listen. _It's been a_ year _already she's probably dead or she can't stop drinking or,_ his brain persisted, _she's forgotten you, maybe she doesn't even want you_. Eli commanded his brain. "Stop It!"

"Eli? Do you want me to stop explaining the assignment?" Mr. Drake, his teacher, asked. _Shoot! I must have said_ stop it _aloud!_ Eli thought.

"No, Mr. Drake," was all that Eli said and he did nothing to deter the snickers that were bouncing around the class. Mr. Drake finished explaining the assignment and moved on to the end-of-the-day announcements.

"I am pleased to inform you that we have a new student coming tomorrow. That is the end of the announcements. You are dismissed." _A new student_ Eli thought as he packed his bag. _Well, it's only two weeks in to the school year so that's not_ that _unusual_ his brain reasoned, _maybe they were moving or maybe there was a divorce_. Eli pondered over the new kid as he walked home. Why would they come so late? What could possibly have kept someone from coming to his school? It was a public school, so tuition wasn't the problem, he reasoned. Still, he wondered if the new student was in a situation like his, if they were he vowed to help them in any way possible. He walked in the door of his house, _not your house, you're little more than a guest here,_ he shook the thought away.

"Eli! Is that you?" Marianne yelled from the basement. "Yah, I'm home!" Eli obediently called down to her, and went upstairs to put his bag away. Once he was alone in his room he looked in the mirror and laughed bitterly to himself. On the outside, he was the poster boy for "well adjusted" foster children, always smiling, presentable, laughed easily, forgave easily. _Seriously,_ Eli thought to himself, _on the outside, I am the poster boy for healthy foster children_. On the inside though, he was just as screwed up as a juvenile delinquent. _Who wouldn't be,_ he asked himself, _if your dad was a druggie who used to come home every night and — don't think about it!_

Prologue

 **"O** h honey, this camp was just a test." I looked at the boy known as Daniel, his mother was finally telling him. He had passed all the tests, his parents could take him on their research expedition. I felt sorry for him, then I heard what planet he was going to. Earth. Home. This was the chance I was waiting for!

"Take me with you!" I blurted. Everyone turned towards me and stared. "Please, Earth is my home," I begged.

"Really? You're an alien from Earth?" Daniel gasped. Daniel's parents quickly strode toward me.

"Are you playing a joke on us?" they asked severely.

"No!"

"Come with us, we need to talk," Daniel's father took my arm and lead me away and I could hear Daniel's mother telling him he could come too. He led me to the camp director's office and sat me down. Seconds later Daniel and his mother flew in. Daniel's parents opened their mouths to start interrogating me and I held up a hand.

"I'm going to tell you a story," I said, "if you have any questions at the end I will address them. I came to Latania two years ago and landed quietly in a forest just outside of Crestan. I came with my parents and two brothers," my voice wavered on brothers and I fought to hold it steady, "a week after we landed my parents started getting sick but we had not yet made it out of the forest and could not get help. After a while I started to wonder if the atmosphere had caused the illness in my parents. They were only getting worse and we had not made it out of the forest as we had decided to wait in the ship until my parents got better. Since we had a mobile lab on our ship I decided to analyze the atmosphere. I considered the atmosphere the most likely cause of the illness because neither me nor my brothers had shown any signs of sickness and I knew children are more adaptable than adults. After two weeks of research I found I was right. The atmosphere was slightly different, not enough to raise alarms, just enough to kill an adult. I was very close to being medically an adult an knew that this could affect me too. So, I started searching for something to help me adjust. But my parents were getting worse every day and when I found the cure it was too late for them. The very least I could do was send their bodies back too Earth. It took my brother, Jake, two days to prepare the bodies. Meanwhile, I explored the forest for a way to civilization. On the second day when I came back I found that Jake had hung himself," again, I struggled to keep my voice level and Daniel and his parents looked horrified, "it was the second time I had ever cried since I was five. My cries alerted Nate, my other brother, and he came running. Through my tears I tried to tell him to turn back but it was too late. When he saw Jake's body he said, 'the last thing he ever said to me was that he didn't want lunch.' Then, he took off. I found Nate's body at the base of a tree five days later, he had collapsed from exhaustion and probably died of dehydration" at this, I could feel tears start to slide down my face, "I took his body back to the ship and sent the ship back to Earth. Then, I journeyed into Crestan. I stayed there for a year and eleven months before I took this job and was assigned here." After I was done my story the trickle of tears becomes a gushing river. "Jake was only fourteen," I sob, "and Nate was only ten. Now they're gone. Them, and my parents. They're all gone. And it's my fault!" I am sobbing too hard to talk. Then I am sobbing too hard to breathe. Wait. No. I can't breathe because I need my injection! Still crying I franticly unzip the pouch on my waist and take out a needle. My hand is shaking too bad for me to give myself the needle and I am now gasping like a fish out of water. Franticly I thrust the needle at Daniel and he looks stunned.

"What do I do with it?" He asks and I wildly mime jabbing the needle into my arm. His eyes light with understanding and he sticks the needle in my arm. He pushes the plunger just as everything goes black.

Chapter 1

 **I** wake up with my feet elevated and someone's shirt under my head. I keep my eyes closed for a few seconds more to asses the situation. I can hear people talking.

"She's been out for two minutes. Do you think we should call someone?"

"Daniel? Do you have any idea what was in that needle?"

"We should consider the possibility that this is an act."

I groan and open my eyes, just to be convincing I ask, "how long was I out?" The response I got, of corse, was, "two minutes. Are you okay?" The only surprising thing was that Daniel said it, I had really expected one of his parents to tell me. Daniel's mother tapped me on the shoulder.

"We need to know what was in that needle."

"That's easy," I answered, "it was a drug that was helping me cope with the atmosphere changes. By tomorrow I will have adapted fully so that was my last shot."

"Will we need a compound to contend with Earth's atmosphere?"

"Yes, I can make it for you. I will conceal mine and Daniels compounds in inhalers so is does not look odd when we take it."

"What's an inhaler?"

"Oh. I forgot you didn't know. On Earth there is a condition called asthma, which is when your lungs seize up and don't allow you to breathe. This is called an asthma attack and an asthma attack is treated with asthma medication which relaxes the lungs. Asthma medication is stored in an inhaler. To use an inhaler you take off the cap, put the opening in your mouth, press the button on top and inhale deeply. The medicine, in the form of a mist, will go directly to your lungs. The first symptom of withdrawal from the compound I made is shortness of breath. Therefore, asthma is a good cover because the shortness of breath will be interpreted as an asthma attack so if either I or Daniel cannot reach the inhaler in time someone else will likely get it for us."

"Smart, but what about Andrew and I?"

"I'm assuming Andrew is your husband."

"Yes"

"Your husband can be diabetic. Which is when the body does not regulate the blood sugar so you have to inject something to regulate it."

"And me?"

"You will have gone through a recent breast cancer surgery and will be on pain killers. So, you will take the drug in pill form. Cancer is when a cell becomes damaged and instead of repairing itself or dying it makes copies of itself and can kill you unless you remove it."

"Have you planned this?"

"No. I'm just good at thinking on my feet" I said as I swung my feet down from the chair.

"By the way, what's your name?"

"Eliza, you have two weeks to prepare and train before we leave. Oh!," she added, almost as an after thought, "what's your name?"

"You can call me Amanda James."Chapter 2

 **E** liza and Andrew walk me and Daniel back to the car.

"Any other ideas for us" Andrew asks interestedly.

"Well. Actually. Yes," I respond, "first of all me and Daniel should be twins, it will be slightly easier to explain our shared condition that way. Also, us being twins will be the only way we will be able to explain our age other than adoption. But, other than that I don't think there is anything."


	2. Chapter 2

School is  
A destroyer of Souls

And a crusher of Dreams

It mutilates Homes

And wrecks Families

School should be

A place of Knowledge

And Learning

A sanctuary of Understanding

And Spirt

Instead it remains

The dark place where

Childhood creativity is stifled

And beaten back

To the dark depths of the subconscious

Where it can be accessed no more

LINE BREAK

There's a special playground in my head where the ground is soaked in red. With the parts of little children spread all around. I had eaten off their flesh and chomped on their bones. Then I scattered all their parts. They went throughout my special playground were the ground was painted red.

The parents gathered all around and looked at me with dread. They saw me as not a child but a monster. They advanced menacingly. They were intent on lynching me. Then a stranger came along and told them they had it wrong. He said I needed help and that he would take the job. My parents were disgusted so they let him take me home. The stranger had saved my life. I thanked him by eating him. The next day I came back to my playground and I spread his leftovers among the bits and pieces that once were my playmates. In my special playground in my head where the ground is bathed in red.

LINE BREAK

The girl turned to the boy and said, "Kyle, would you do me a favour? Could you just bop me on the head? Ya know, just a little tap?" The boy's, no, _Kyle's_ , expression didn't change at all which led me to believe that this was a normal request for the girl. He conked her on the head and…

nothing happened. The girl hunched over a little, her face slackened, then she straightened up, shook her head and it was like nothing happened. At least, until she turned to Kyle, bowed deeply and said, "arigato." Kyle blinked, "well, that wasn't supposed to happen."


End file.
